The ups and downs
When Maisie started pre school this year she settled in well but she was quiet. Only the odd day she’ll still need a cuddle before I leave(my son on the other hand was reluctant to go in most days!) but a lot of the reassurance Maisie gets are from her teachers who are just amazing. I needed reminding by one of them that it can take a while for any kid to settle in to a new environment. Well over the last month or so, I’ve seen how she’s become more extrovert with the other kids in her class and it makes me feel so happy to see her shine and thrive in school. She’ll say all of the childrens names and is very taken with one boy and his sister. They performed their Christmas concert yesterday and she joined in the movements and sang some of the words. It made me feel so proud of her. We’ve had plenty of opportunities at home singing Christmas songs, Maisie will even say “Alexa” now! We couldn’t be happier with her playschool at how welcoming they’ve been, their continued support and they even raised over €600 towards Down Syndrome Ireland having hosted a Christmas jumper day.
Maisie’s speech has taken a big leap in recent weeks, she loves telling me about what she sees, for example “Baby is sleeping”, “red car” or she’ll go and get “Evie’s coat”. She will call Evie and Tom to “come on” which is brilliant for getting them out of the house when they’re reluctant to do so!! We have speech and language games on her I Pad and yesterday she was listening to a story and saying the words. From an early age we did speech and language with Maisie and whilst it was always through play, there were times I felt overwhelmed and pressure to do more. But I know I’m reaping the rewards now and it is reassuring to know that Maisie will be a good verbal communicator. She has had S&L therapy through the HSE also which has been so helpful and it is meant to be continued at home. More to do for me but Maisie’s other playgroup which is a disability service for children with additional needs do so a lot of this with her too.
Maisie loves sensory play and gets lots of opportunities in school for this, which saves me having to clean up the mess at home!
One area which we have found challenging is the toilet training. I spent ten days doing it with her during the summer with some success. However the house was a tip, I got nothing else done and of course my other kids had their own needs so on went the pull ups again. Then when Maisie started school we tried it again, this time keeping her pull ups on. She would happily sit on the toilet in the mornings and go, and we’d all do high fives etc. I’m all delighted and then she’d sit on the toilet once more in the evening. Every other time it would be an emphatic “NO” and she was having none of it. Nowadays she’ll only sit on it in the morning and pull funny faces at me. So yep I’m dreading doing it for real and spending most of my day crouched down in the loo. I may have missed the boat and now it’s become a power struggle but we’ll get there.
A busy girl Maisie loves to draw, play with her dolls, listen and dance to music and play with play doh. She loves the camera and will say “cheese” if her photo is taken, then promptly take our phones to check herself out! She also loves to run away from me in public, something my back doesn’t appreciate. She’ll say hello to anyone we pass in the street, loves it when the bus driver waves back or better still beeps, enjoys spending time with her cousins but she can be shy around adult relatives and it can take her a while to come out of her shell. If she’s not comfortable when we’re out she’ll say and sign “home”. Now we find Tom and Evie signing “home” when they’re too far away to speak, it’s really funny.
A happy gorgeous family photo and we are a happy loving family, and we are extremely fortunate. Yet parenting is hard and as far as we’re concerned that’s nothing to do with having a child with a disability. Sure they’re can be extra challenges, but every child has specific needs and Caolan and I want to be the best parents we can be. It’s not easy and mistakes are made but we always reconnect again with our kids and try to support each other also. I’ve also been thinking a lot about other peoples attitudes towards Maisie now she’s in a new school and at times amongst our own family and social groups. It’s disheartening when people focus on her disability rather than seeing her for the wonderful and capable girl she is. I’m glad to say most people don’t. I saw Chris Mc Causland, the winner from Strictly Cone Dancing (myself and the girls are huge fans of the show) and he said he doesn’t see himself as a role model for other blind people, rather it’s peoples attitudes and the difference is having high expectations of people with disabilities. All my thoughts which I had found difficult to articulate, he said it all in a nutshell. We’re so excited for Maisie’s future and she will be encouraged to follow her passions and reach her potential. All we want is for others to believe in her potential too without patronising.
Last photo of this little rascal. My new challenge is to get her flying on the scooter and I can say goodbye to the buggy and enjoy a pain free back!